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14 March was my brother’s birthday. With no idea of what to get him, I went out on a hunt with my boyfriend from mall to mall looking for what could make him happy.

While checking out from the supermarket at Citymall, a bottle of water in my hand and confused in my head, I noticed a client, an American guy, who was in front of me. He said “Thank you young man” out loud to the cashier and took his grocery bags. The cashier smiled back at him.

I looked at my boyfriend with a smile. He said: “Europeans and Americans may not be extremely welcoming, but they are polite. In our area it’s a bit the opposite; we tend to be more welcoming than polite. Already obvious in the way we drive on the roads.”

I don’t know why, but I started to think whether I said “Thank you” enough during the day.

In the evening, empty handed, I went to my brother, gave him a hug and said: “Thank you!”

Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.
Albert Einstein

Enough of politics for a while…Let’s talk about something else. How about that everyday we hear that someone is leaving the country for good? How about the fact that people say that there is an employment crisis, and that companies say that there are lots of job opportunities available but no qualified candidates?

No, no, wait…How about that Valentine’s day approaching and there is no one to spend that day with?

Not that there is no one in the literal meaning of the sentence but that you couldn’t find that person who’d be your match.

Maybe your the type of people who’d think with “too”s:
“too short”, “too young”, “too old”, “too immature”, “too blond”, “too fat”, “too skinny” etc..
Years pass by and one day you realize that you were maybe “too demanding”and that one of the people who didn’t meet your specs could have offered you a nice adventure.

My point is that sometimes we should review our specs. Perfect people do not exist. In my opinion try to find that person who is true. True to own self and true to you, then see if you can put up with the bad side. If you can..Congrats! If not…dust yourself off with no regret and try again with someone else!

I live in a place that makes no sense even to itself… yet I love it.

About civism
Instead anchoring the Lebanese sense of civism, people speak and act based on which religious community they belong to. They also don’t think much of themselves as they rely on external parties to get things done.
People live in place where there is a majority of a certain religion, they go to its related schools, stores..talking about living with diversity.

About leaders/politicians
Leaders build speeches based on their personal experiences and vision, not the people’s.
People follow leaders blindly.
Leaders are nearly viewed as unreachable gods instead of humans who make mistakes.
People get bought and sold depending on the politicians projects.
People don’t stand for their own ideas. The only common point between the leader and the people who follow him is his religion and few ideas, not the whole program (if there was any).

About laws
Men and women are believed to be different. If a woman marries to a non-Lebanese, she looses citizenship and can’t give her nationality to her children. The family of the husband has more rights on the children than the mother. Permission of the husband or the husband’s family in case he is deceased is needed in many cases including traveling.
Civil marriage doesn’t exist.
Nowadays, politicians are writing laws that says we have the right to our rights. And don’t let me get started about the people who made those laws..

About systems
Students learn things, and don’t find related jobs later.
You have to prove to the bank that you don’t need the money if you are applying for a loan.
To get to the hospital, you need to make a reservation before you get sick, even if it’s an emergency. If you are not covered, or can’t afford to pay, no one will come to your rescue.
Security is breached to a level, that anyone can commit the craziest acts on anyone, anywhere at any time of the day and get away with it.

Lebanese are more linked by blood and death than anything else. I barely know families who do not have beloved ones who have been murdered…

There is so much to say..but I will stop here, the purpose is not to list all the negative things that this country is suffering from…but an alarm to the necessity of being positively neutral.

Being unbiased, distinguishing the wrong from the right and actively doing something about it based on public interest. Please think about the being a Lebanese civilian..just for once!

Please take into consideration the tiny dimension of this country (10452 km2) while reading the following shocking numbers:

17 religious communities
40 daily newspapers
42 universities
Over 100 banks
70% of the students are in private schools
35% of the Lebanese people are Christians (this is the highest % in all the Arab countries)
There’s 1 doctor / 10 people (in Europe & America there’s 1 doctor / 100 people)
The name LEBANON appears 75 times in the Old Testament
The name CEDAR appears 75 times too in the Old Testament!!
Beirut was destroyed and rebuilt 7 times (This is why it’s compared to the phoenix)
There’s 3.500.000 Lebanese in Lebanon
There’s 5.630.000 Lebanese outside Lebanon!!

Other interesting facts:
Lebanon was occupied by over 17 countries: (Syrians – Egyptians – Hittites – Assyrians – Babylonians – Persians – Alexander the great – The Roman Empire – Byzantine – The Arabian Peninsula – The Crusaders – The Ottoman Empire – Britain – France – Israel)
Byblos is the oldest city in the world
Lebanon’s name has been around for 4.000 years non-stop (it’s the oldest nation’s name in the world!)
There are 15 rivers in Lebanon (All of them coming from its mountains)
Lebanon is one of the most populated countries in its archeological sites in the world
The only temple of Jupiter (The Main Greek God) is in Baalbeck (The city of the sun)
Lebanon is the country that has the most books written about it
Lebanon is the only non-doctoral country in the Arab world
Jesus Christ made his 1st miracle in Lebanon
The Phoenicians created the 1st boat ever
The 1st alphabet was created by Cadmus in Byblos
The Dye was created in Lebanon
Phoenicians reached America long before Christopher Columbus
The 1st law school was built in Lebanon
People say that the cedars were planted by God’s own hands (this is why they’re called god’s trees)

There is nothing that can be said. It’s like walking on the knife-edge of insanity. At first, when you get hit, you scream and cry, then, the more you get hit, you feel nothing.

In a country where economy is defined by politics, absolutely anything can happen. If you are getting crazy thoughts, don’t worry, even those can happen…

I didn’t believe in this country when I first knew of its existence.
I think that it was build on weak, inconsistent bases in the first place. Yet, I can help myself…I love it and still hope… that is where all my sufferings come from.

Living in instability, fear, feeling insecure, having no faith in the future, having no purpose… Lots of people have already lost faith in this country and politicians a long time ago. Some did not.

You have your Lebanon, I have mine…

Pierre Gemayel, cabinet minister, was killed by cold-blooded murderers in broad daylight after he expressed his condolences to a family who lost a beloved one, ironically, the day before “Independence Day”.

I met my biggest enemy: Me.

It almost made me lose an excellent friend; the one person that brightens my day. Fear took me from me and made act the way I don’t act usually. That hurt him. Fear of loosing my friend almost made me lose my friend…how ironic.

I officially hate me. I got drunk and went to bed with eyes full of tears and remorse. I almost lost a treasure!.

When you care for your friend, don’t fear for him. Do not attempt to help him without explicitly telling him you will do so; don’t think you are doing him a favor, he will feel stabbed in the back… It’s not the last thing you want…It’s the one thing you DON’T want!

I learned my lesson, I pray he will forgive my weakness…

I feel I am falling out of myself, falling into no where. It feels weird; I seem to fall without touching the ground.
I know I have been away for a while, in a “disconnection to reset” kind of period, trying to figure out what’s “missing”.
Everywhere I go, people seem so stressed and depressed. I am not reading newspapers nor following the news much because it’s been such a PHYSICAL PAIN.

It was a regular day. I was at the office. I had planned to go visit my grandparents in the evening…I received a call: Grandfather passed away…I broke down.

Grandpa! I was coming to pay you a visit but you didn’t wait for me! I didn’t find you! You were gone!

Even when things are expected to happen sooner or later, you don’t get the meaning of it until it strikes you right in the face.. but I hanged on hard..for my mother.

I will never forget the moments I had with you, when I used to study next to your feet and watch over you nor the moments when you laughed and told me old stories but most of all, I will never forget your face, your eyes and smile whenever you saw your little daughter come in with the foods you liked…

Grandpa, pray for the family and keep an eye on us…May you rest in peace next to God.

Grandpa..I love you!

Life and future is all about making decisions; the more they are alligned with your aspirations the less the chances are to feel regret or give up in the middle of the path.

It’s true that at first you didn’t really know where to head to, but very fast things got clear..
I know you since day One and I know that you made the RIGHT choice. Be sure that you will always find me backing you up whenever you get tired or have doubts…and by the way…efforts always pay

I’m so happy you made it and so proud of you. Wishing you the best.

I smile because I am your sister….I laugh because you can’t do anything about it!
Love you sis!