I recently came across this article:
Allow me to differ and share some thoughts:
“Defining, establishing and defending equal political, economic, and social rights and equal opportunities for women” is very noble. I respect that. I live in Lebanon and I have worked in the HR Department of 2 big group of companies. I know the kind of discrimination, harassment and violence women have to go through every day. I’m a woman. I’ve been there.
When giving an opinion or attacking a person, it’s useful to spell the name correctly in order to help readers know who is the person concerned. Using an online search engine would not have harmed anyone. As a matter of fact, misspelling someone’s name is nowadays considered an offense since the name is directly linked to the identity of the person. The person I believe is concerned in that article is not “Nemer AbouNassar” but “Nemr Abou Nassar”.
For those who are worried about Nemr’s psychological state, you can rest assured. Nemr is more balanced and mature than many people out there. He is also the most humble artist I’ve ever met: He takes the time to listen and answer to all of his supporters wherever he goes.
Nemr is a stand-up comedian, a person who speaks directly to his audience seeking to entertain by making them laugh. “This might be through jokes or amusing situations, or acting a fool, as in slapstick, or employing prop comedy.” So the ultimate aim, whatever the mean used, is laughter.
Concerning the gender joke, the quote should have been: “Only a woman would be retarded enough to think that there is a difference between a fight and an argument.” What was failed to be noticed is that in this joke Nemr was highlighting the general character differences and reactions between men and women. Well, he is totally right. In general, men and women have different approaches to relationships and they express themselves differently. There are influences by both nature and nurture.
Then after that, is not the number 1 sexist joke. He said: “Chou bi 3arefneh, noss 3a2el djejeh, betkoun jeyeta w 3am betfech khel2a fiyyeh…Trekneh.” People who live/lived in Lebanon, must have heard it a lot. Nemr here is reflecting a sad reality, that’s how some men react when they are in confrontation or confused by their women. This does not mean that Nemr approves. He is here making fun of the man who can’t have a descent conversation with a woman without falling in the self-defensive aggressive cliché.
Also, many women give themselves the right to be aggressive during their periods. Others, do it without noticing because it’s a hormonal response to which we have no control. Yet, we demand the men to be patient and comprehensive.
Why deny it? Relationships are a two way highways and what works for some might not work for others.
Considering “Shut up, bitch” an offense but not the rest of the curses? That’s selective. Moreover, “Bitch” is commonly used when cursing both women AND men.
Concerning the second quote: “No man should have lips as if you are sucking a dick.” He was here making fun of Jad Choueri. Exaggeration is part comedy.
The part where Nemr defines sexy was completely blotted out, buried, bygone, consigned to oblivion, left behind and obliterated! “Sexy is a man who cares about his woman. Sexy is a man who stands by his woman. Sexy is a man who dies for his woman. Sexy is a man who breathes an lives for his woman. Sexy is a man who comes home to his woman every single night.” This was a love declaration to women! Here, Nemr was making fun of men who spend the day looking at the mirror to shave their chests instead of spending it with their women. Hairy men with a keresh being more manly is considered to be an Arabic stereotype. We also have proverbs in that sense: “Zalameh bala keresh byeswa eresh.”
My point is that there are many types of humor including sarcasm, exaggeration and dark humor. Before making jokes about anyone or anything, Nemr is the type of person who also laughs at himself (The story about how he got his name: “Chou badna nssami la hal 7ayawen?”, makes jokes about his dad (The story about why he doesn’t come the shows: “Lachou baddeh rou7 o7daro? Ta esma3o 3am byetmanyak 3leyeh?”, his sister (The story about the “I miss u” sms: “How did she write You? One letter U or You?” and the rest of the family (The story about the prostitute aunt, the one about the uncle who kisses too much and the Armenian grandmother who doesn’t cook well.)
Nemr will never run out of jokes. “Cheap joke” is a subjective claim. Again, what sounds cheap to you may not to others.
Actually, I’m so upset that this article featured on Sawt Al Niswa. I don’t even understand how a respectful organization could have accepted to have such an article featured on their website. What gives the writer(s) of the above mentioned article the entitlement to think they are the voice of the women that way? Why not attack the Lebanese actors who impersonate husbands who beat their wives in local sitcoms on TV while at it? Because they are ACTORS… They ACT by impersonating whomever they are supposed to impersonate and act like him.. Does that mean that they ARE the character? Does that mean that they are violent and sexists and etc…? OF COURSE NOT!
I’m really surprised and confused to see how they missed the fact that Nemr was actually doing feminism, gay rights as well as minorities a HUGE favor!
HOW, you ask?
Well simply by making jokes about reality, facts, stereotypes, the everyday life etc.. People realize and laugh at their own stupidity and ignorance. That’s awareness too!
“One Love” is a message of tolerance.
You should be thanking him instead.
- Wikipedia, for the definitions.
- Nemr Abou Nassar’s Facebook page, for the pictures.